माल भन्दा याद आयो
funnynepali-jokes.blogspot.com
२ जना साथी हरु गफ गर्दै थिए ।
पहिलो साथी (केटीलाई देखाउदै)- हेर त क्या sexy माल जादै छ
दोश्रो साथी- अ साँच्चि माल भन्दा याद आयो ,भाउजुको हालखबर के छ नि
2016
बच्चा and धोती पसले
बच्चा (धोती पसलेसँग): अंकल ! गोरो बनाउने क्रीम छ ?
धोती पसले: छ !
बच्चा: तेसो भए लगाउने गर् न साले ! दिनदिनै तर्साउँछ !!
The sexy father and son.
Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later :
Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..!!
भ्यागुता र ज्योतिष
एउटा भ्यागुता ज्योतिषकोमा गएछ र आफ्नो भविष्य हेरिदिनु भनेछ ….
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ज्योतिष: तेरो जीवनमा एउटी राम्री च्वाँक केटी आउनेछ अनि तेरो मुटु चोरेर लानेछे…..!!! .
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ज्योतिष: तेरो जीवनमा एउटी राम्री च्वाँक केटी आउनेछ अनि तेरो मुटु चोरेर लानेछे…..!!! .
भ्यागुता: (खुशी हुँदै) त्यो केटी कहाँ भेट्छु त मैले ……??
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ज्योतिष : Biology को Practical Lab मा ….. .
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ज्योतिष : Biology को Practical Lab मा ….. .
भ्यागुता त ठाउँको ठाउँ बेहोश….
Is he Your Father?
http://funnynepali-jokes.blogspot.de/
Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later :
Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..!!
Funny Man with funny Camel .
http://funnynepali-jokes.blogspot.de/
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Funny nepali jokes / Rajesh hamal
Normal people are challenged for Ice bucket challenge.
Only Rajesh dae is challenged for lava bucket challenge !!
Maria and her panties,,
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned
$20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just
wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart,
I took them off!" - See more at:
http://funnynepali-jokes.blogspot.de/
six apples but seven cats...
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
Rajesh shiva ra bhuwan dai..............
शिब र भुवन हस्पिटलमा रुदै बसेको देखेर अचम्म मान्दै -
राजेश दाई : ओए ...शिबे, किन रोको यार त...?
शिब : Blood Test गर्न भनेर मेरो औला नै काटी दियो यार ..!!
राजेश दाई: अनि भुवने, त चाहीँ किन रोईराको ... ?
भूवन : मेरो त Urine Test गर्न पर्छ रे ...उ हु उ हु
Rajesh shiva ra bhuwan dai..............
शिब र भुवन हस्पिटलमा रुदै बसेको देखेर अचम्म मान्दै -
राजेश दाई : ओए ...शिबे, किन रोको यार त...?
शिब : Blood Test गर्न भनेर मेरो औला नै काटी दियो यार ..!!
राजेश दाई: अनि भुवने, त चाहीँ किन रोईराको ... ?
भूवन : मेरो त Urine Test गर्न पर्छ रे ...उ हु उ हु
Rajesh hamal ko k kura.
चिनिया, जापानी र नेपालिको बिचमा तलवारबाजी प्रतियोगिता चल्दैथ्यो ।
चिनियाले सुन्तला हावामा फाल्यो र ५ टुक्रा पारीद्यो,…..
जापानीले अङ्गुर हावामा फाल्यो र १० टुक्रा पारीद्यो,…..
नेपालको तर्फबाट चाँही हाम्रो राजेश दाई हुनुहुदोरैछ। राजेश दाईले लाम्खुटेलाई हावामा उडाउनु भो र
तल्वार नचाउनु भो । तर अचम्म !!!! .... लाम्खुटेको टुक्रा भएन र यतिकै उडेर गयो ।
यो देखेर चिनिया र जापानीले राजेश दाईलाई जिस्काउदै भने: "खै त, केही नि गर्न सकिनस् तैले" ।
राजेश दाई ले आफ्नै स्टाइल मा भन्नु भो : “हे........ (echo = हे.. हे.. हे... ), याद राख्, यो लाम्खुटे
अब कहिले नि बाउ बन्न सक्दैन……
शेरेको तपस्या sere
funny nepali jokes
शेरेको तपस्या
एकदिन शेरे भगवानको तपस्या गर्दै रैछ ।
अचानक भगवान प्रकट भयछन अनि भनेछन ।
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भगवान : त के चाहान्छस माग…?
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शेरे: एउटा जागिर, ठुलो गाडि र त्यसमा धेरै केटि नै केटि….!
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भगवान: तथास्तु…!
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बिचरा शेरे आज एउटा Girl’s school मा बस ड्राइभर छ!
चाउमिन खान चाहियो रे
भक्त (महादेव सँग): प्रभु तपाईँ को त्रिशुल खोइ त ?
महादेव: राजेश हमालले लगेको छ ।
भक्त: किन ?
महादेव: चाउमिन खान चाहियो रे के।
राजेश हमाल हो
राजेश हमालः रजनी, तलाई एउटा प्रश्न सोधौँ?
रजनीकान्तः सोध् न ।
राजेश हमालः मेरो सासुको एक मात्र छोरीको छोराको बाउ को हो?
रजनीकान्तः कति गाह्रो प्रश्न सोधेको । उत्तर आफै भन् ।
राजेश हमालः त्यो त मै हो नि ।
रजनीकान्त घरमा बुढीसँग
रजनीकान्तः बुढी, तलाई एउटा प्रश्न सोधौँ?
बुढीः सोध्नु न ।
रजनीकान्तः मेरो सासुको एक मात्र छोरीको छोराको बाउ को हो?
बुढीः तपाई हो नि ।
रजनीकान्तः होइन, राजेश हमाल हो ।
Buda ra budi
बुढी : आज चाँही ब्लड आउने गरी नगरनु ल ।
म : हुन्छ नि , आखिर मलाई नि दुख्छ ।
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.। यत्रो लभ , CARE
गर्छे बुढीले आज होस् गरेर दारी काट्नु पर्यो ।
TEACHER AND A KID
Teacher: How old iz ur father???
Kid : He iz 7 years
Teacher : What?How iz this possible
Kid: He became a father only when i was born
I Love You
Funny Nepali Jokes
शेरेले एउटी केटीलाई I Love You भनेछ
केटीले एक झापड हानेर भनी- "के भनिस् ?"
शेरे(रुँदै): जब सुन्दै सुनिनस् भने झापड किन हानिस् ?"
गोरो बनाउने क्रीम छ ?
बच्चा (धोती पसलेसँग): अंकल ! गोरो बनाउने क्रीम छ ?
धोती पसले: छ !
बच्चा: तेसो भए लगाउने गर् न साले ! दिनदिनै तर्साउँछ !!
अब घिउ चैँ तिम्रै?
http://funnynepali-jokes.blogspot.de/
पत्नि : छोरा म लान्छु
पति : छोरा मैसँग बस्छ
पत्नि : वा रे वा ठेकी मेरै
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दुध पनि मेरैं ईत्ति दही के मिसाको थेउ
अब घिउ चैँ तिम्रै?
"Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!"
Funny Nepali Jokes
A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place?" "Yeah!" "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk
bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches,
so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?"
Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!"
The younger brother says, "Stop making sandwiches!
You're getting mayo all over my bed!"
What do you get when you do that?
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
The lesson form a crow
A crow was sitting in a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up.
Nepali herbs also has electricity.
Funny Nepali Jokes
एक जना टुरिस्टलाइ जंगलमा डुल्न जादा दिसा लागेछ र हत्तपत्त दिसा गरेर
सिस्नाको पातले पुसेछ उसलाई सिस्नोले मर्ने गरि पोलेछ, तेस्पछी दगुर्दै आफ्ना
साथीहरुलाई भनेछ ओहो नेपालको झारपातमा पनि current हुदो रहेछ
Father And Son
Funny Nepali jokes
Son : Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl.
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Sandra, the neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally bummed out; but a couple of months later :
Son : Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father : That's great son. Who is she?
Son : It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter.
Father : Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister. This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son : Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says : My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..!!
Funny nepali jokes a man and a reporter.
Funny Nepali Jokes
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What does the fat cow give?
Funny Nepali Jokes
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
I will eat that pussy
Funny Nepali Jokes
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
Mypenis
http://funnynepali-jokes.blogspot.de/
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
18 daughter
funnynepali-jokes.blogspot.com
Three men went Las Vegas and after a losing their money at the blackjack tables,
the best friends decided to stay off the strip in a not so lavish hotel and the guy that owned it had 18 daughters so the first man went up to they're father and said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?"
the father said "no but you can sleep with the pigs."
the second man went to the father and said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?"
the father said " no but you can sleep with the cows." the third man said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?" the father said "yes." so in the morning the three men and the father had a conversation over breakfast the first man said "I slept like a pig" the second man said "I slept like a cow" the third man said "I felt like a golfer" the father asked why? he said cause I got my balls in 18 holes.
Teacher and student
funny nepali jokes
शिक्षक: गृहकार्य किन नगरेको ?
धुर्मुसे : बिजुली थिएन ।
शिक्षक: मैनबत्ति बाल्नुपर्दैन ?
धुर्मुसे: सलाई थिएन ।
शिक्षक: किन ?
धुर्मुसे: पुजा कोठामा राखेको थिएँ ।
शिक्षक: अनि ल्याए भैहाल्थ्यो नि !
धुर्मुसे: नुहाएको थिईन ।
शिक्षक: किन ननुहाएको त ?
धुर्मुसे: पानी थिएन ।
शिक्षक: अरे यार ! किन पानी थिएन त
नि ?
धुर्मुसे: मोटर चलेको थिएन ।
शिक्षक: के भएर मोटर चलेन ?
धुर्मुसे: तेरो खप्पर !!
साला गजनी को सन्तान
अघि बिजुली थिएन भनेको हैन।
नि ?
धुर्मुसे: मोटर चलेको थिएन ।
शिक्षक: के भएर मोटर चलेन ?
धुर्मुसे: तेरो खप्पर !!
साला गजनी को सन्तान
अघि बिजुली थिएन भनेको हैन।
A chicken and the owner
Nepali jokes / funny nepali jokes
एकजना कुखुराफार्मको
मालिकले सबै
कुखुराहरुलाई भनेछ:
कुखुराफार्मको मालिक:- “सबैले
भोलि देखि दुई-दुई
ओटा अण्डा दिने जस्ले
दिँदैन त्यलाई म
काटिदिन्छु।”
भोलिपल्ट सबैले दुई दुई
ओटा अण्डा दिए तर
एउटाले एकदाना मात्रै
दियो र मालिकले
रिसाउँदै सोधेछ “किन
एउटा मात्र?”
जवाफमा कुखुरोले
भनेछ:-“यो पनि तपाईको डरले
मात्रै दिएको नत्र म त
भाले हुँ ।”
दियो र मालिकले
रिसाउँदै सोधेछ “किन
एउटा मात्र?”
जवाफमा कुखुरोले
भनेछ:-“यो पनि तपाईको डरले
मात्रै दिएको नत्र म त
भाले हुँ ।”